apfwydd
BK—404
08–25–24
08–25–24
a playlist for when your dog dies
and your code won’t compile
How do you capture a feeling?
I think this is the quintessential question for humanity; the closest we will ever get to tangible evidence of a soul is the feeling of nostalgia.
Before we could take videos and pictures we painted and sculpted. We write and tell stories and sing songs all so that we can draw cocktail of chemicals out of each other.
The audience cries, so the artist smiles.
We want to compel each other, to remember different lives while tuned into the same frequencies.
I had a thought the other day when I shared a pack of gum with my friends:
”I know what everyone’s mouth tastes like right now”
Weird I know (and obviously there’s better ways to phrase it), but I was contented by the thought I guess.
There’s a universal comfort in the safety of numbers, the safety net of community.
But what about the moments when you are truly alone, and there is no one to share a pack of gum with at all?
What else do you have to turn to but art?
Pieces of music, paintings, videos, and books that you can chew on, thinking about the millions of others with the same taste in their mouth.
The last of my family dogs died a couple weeks ago, a signature experience for a lot of out late-teens or twenties. And I’m thinking of her now while staring at my 3rd consecutive failed AWS deploy message.
I miss her and I want my code to work.
There’s a feeling in my stomach, aching to fill the noise in my head with someone else’s voice so that I can just sit in my chair and be upset for a bit.
Or maybe not even upset. Just something.
A little warm staticky-fuzzy feeling running between my shoulder blades:
https://open.spotify.com/track/4sKUM5p0MEP9Ux4i4qQ05o?si=815f39ef0e454746
But mixed with a heavier blue-ish feeling underneath my lungs:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0BmIi2KQJGJxx4nsiZilfu?si=7de880a731094158
And also a touch of pinkish-gray air at the top of the back of my neck:
https://open.spotify.com/track/3RNRGjT9atDqVPGjeqSnzU?si=ef720e4d06fc482b
I want to think about playing fetch in the backyard and saturate whatever feeling comes with it.
So here’s a playlist for when your dog dies and your code won’t compile.
A taste of this exact moment in my life.
And a reminder to feel everything deeply as you can while there’s air in your lungs. Because feeling is everything, and everything is actually pretty beautiful if you have a soundtrack for it.
Even when the moment hurts, even when it’s tangled with boredom or error logs, it’s still worth holding onto.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7tQoEB0Swuwo2OwBzGxlSH?si=3eb599a9930b4fa1
ty for reading :]
I think this is the quintessential question for humanity; the closest we will ever get to tangible evidence of a soul is the feeling of nostalgia.
Before we could take videos and pictures we painted and sculpted. We write and tell stories and sing songs all so that we can draw cocktail of chemicals out of each other.
The audience cries, so the artist smiles.
We want to compel each other, to remember different lives while tuned into the same frequencies.
I had a thought the other day when I shared a pack of gum with my friends:
”I know what everyone’s mouth tastes like right now”
Weird I know (and obviously there’s better ways to phrase it), but I was contented by the thought I guess.
There’s a universal comfort in the safety of numbers, the safety net of community.
But what about the moments when you are truly alone, and there is no one to share a pack of gum with at all?
What else do you have to turn to but art?
Pieces of music, paintings, videos, and books that you can chew on, thinking about the millions of others with the same taste in their mouth.
The last of my family dogs died a couple weeks ago, a signature experience for a lot of out late-teens or twenties. And I’m thinking of her now while staring at my 3rd consecutive failed AWS deploy message.
I miss her and I want my code to work.
There’s a feeling in my stomach, aching to fill the noise in my head with someone else’s voice so that I can just sit in my chair and be upset for a bit.
Or maybe not even upset. Just something.
A little warm staticky-fuzzy feeling running between my shoulder blades:
https://open.spotify.com/track/4sKUM5p0MEP9Ux4i4qQ05o?si=815f39ef0e454746
But mixed with a heavier blue-ish feeling underneath my lungs:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0BmIi2KQJGJxx4nsiZilfu?si=7de880a731094158
And also a touch of pinkish-gray air at the top of the back of my neck:
https://open.spotify.com/track/3RNRGjT9atDqVPGjeqSnzU?si=ef720e4d06fc482b
I want to think about playing fetch in the backyard and saturate whatever feeling comes with it.
So here’s a playlist for when your dog dies and your code won’t compile.
A taste of this exact moment in my life.
And a reminder to feel everything deeply as you can while there’s air in your lungs. Because feeling is everything, and everything is actually pretty beautiful if you have a soundtrack for it.
Even when the moment hurts, even when it’s tangled with boredom or error logs, it’s still worth holding onto.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7tQoEB0Swuwo2OwBzGxlSH?si=3eb599a9930b4fa1
ty for reading :]